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If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
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Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
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Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
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The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
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A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
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Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
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Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
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If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
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Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
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In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
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Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
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Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
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... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
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War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
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The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
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Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
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The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
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Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
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Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
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We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
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Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
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War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI?!
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
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A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
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True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
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If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
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I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
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Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
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All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
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Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:27
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